Law and Order - Boulder.
Dum dum!
Okay, it wasn’t exactly Law and Order or CSI. Maybe it was more like a low budget Dateline NBC or something. Regardless, I had my first experience with Jury duty…. and it almost killed me!
Dum dum!
Okay, that’s a bit dramatic. I didn’t almost die, but I did get the flu.
Dum dum!
I’d been wondering for some time if I was a glitch in the system, or how I’d somehow managed to avoid the “civic responsibility” of jury duty. But alas, my good luck had faulted and I was called to report to the Boulder Courthouse down on 6th and Canyon at 8 am on Tuesday morning. The courthouse is luckily less than a 5 minute drive from my house – so aside from my brief struggle with agoraphobia the night before (just knowing I had to put on real live clothes and leave the house on an unknown adventure jilted my introvert personality) the general tactics of getting to the court on time weren’t an issue. Thank goodness I brought a book though, as I was able to read almost 200 pages throughout my 4 hour ordeal. The morning started as I was deeply enthralled in my own sense of skepticism and feelings of boredom and wasting time. I basically was stewing in my own cynicism. But then they showed us a video! And I hate to admit it, but damn – videos work. I learned about the process, got a little excited about (gasp) learning about our judicial system and was able to understand that jury duty, as an American citizen was my right and responsibility (I hate to admit how easily swayed I am by videos).
After the video, which clearly changed my mind frame about the whole process, I was called, along with 30-40 other people to one of the 4 trials that were being held that week. This was the first sign that I would not be going home within the hour. The second sign was when I was called with 22 others directly into the jury box.
The trial was a domestic violence charge, and it was sad how many people were excused because of current or past run ins with such violence. And overall the process was interesting. But it also made me happy that I hadn’t gone down the route of trial lawyer (or lawyer at all)… the hilarity really began when asking the jury some questions pertaining to the case. The main one, the charge of “hands as a deadly weapon”. Now, aside from snickering to myself about some great chuck Norris jokes:
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.
It was clearly a serious situation, and as a potential juror, it seemed the District Attorney and the Defense were doing everything in their power to ensure the Jury (with clearly the intellect of toddlers) could understand that a human can harm another human without a gun. Oh yes, this is where I’m sure the look in my eyes was the reason for my dismissal.
DA: “Ms. Fezler, what do you think is meant by “Deadly Weapon”.
Sarah: “I believe, its really the “intent” – anything can be used to do harm to another person and be a deadly weapon, be it, their hands, a pillow, pretty much anything that’s intended to be used that way.”
DA: “Ahh, so would you say that THIS (he holds up a mug for effect) could be a deadly weapon?”
Sarah: “Um, yes”.
DA: Looking dejected turns to the juror next to Sarah. “Would You Mr. X?”
Mr. X: “Um, Sure”.
DA: What about this? (holding up a piece of red string).
Mr. X “ “Yes.”
DA: “Does it matter that this is from my son’s Magic kit?”
Mr. X” “No, like she said, you can use anything”
Be advised that this continues for the better part of an hour. And I think everyone finally got it (she says tongue in cheek). Yes, we understand that the man is being charged with assault with a deadly weapon, even if the deadly weapon was his hands. Sigh.
Anyway, the real drama came with my catching the flu from the derelict man sitting next to me who was coughing and sneezing the whole time. He finally raised his had when questioned if anyone in the jury was a victim of a crime “yes , ma’am” he says to the Judge. “I was shot and stabbed. (cough, cough).” He was released. Finally as the day wore on, and the jurors names had been passed back and forth between the two lawyers the final twelve were named. And I was not on it!
Although I learned a lot from my day on jury duty, I’m glad I didn’t have to stay through the whole trial. Especially since at about 4pm that day I came down with a fever and the cough, presumable caught from the stabbed and shot man. Jury duty was a fun new experience though, and you’ll find many people have a good story to tell about jury duty (those who have been called forth) – so go ahead, ask around, and I think you’ll find those dramatic television shows depicting our judicial system, aren’t too far off.
Dum dum!
Okay, it wasn’t exactly Law and Order or CSI. Maybe it was more like a low budget Dateline NBC or something. Regardless, I had my first experience with Jury duty…. and it almost killed me!
Dum dum!
Okay, that’s a bit dramatic. I didn’t almost die, but I did get the flu.
Dum dum!
I’d been wondering for some time if I was a glitch in the system, or how I’d somehow managed to avoid the “civic responsibility” of jury duty. But alas, my good luck had faulted and I was called to report to the Boulder Courthouse down on 6th and Canyon at 8 am on Tuesday morning. The courthouse is luckily less than a 5 minute drive from my house – so aside from my brief struggle with agoraphobia the night before (just knowing I had to put on real live clothes and leave the house on an unknown adventure jilted my introvert personality) the general tactics of getting to the court on time weren’t an issue. Thank goodness I brought a book though, as I was able to read almost 200 pages throughout my 4 hour ordeal. The morning started as I was deeply enthralled in my own sense of skepticism and feelings of boredom and wasting time. I basically was stewing in my own cynicism. But then they showed us a video! And I hate to admit it, but damn – videos work. I learned about the process, got a little excited about (gasp) learning about our judicial system and was able to understand that jury duty, as an American citizen was my right and responsibility (I hate to admit how easily swayed I am by videos).
After the video, which clearly changed my mind frame about the whole process, I was called, along with 30-40 other people to one of the 4 trials that were being held that week. This was the first sign that I would not be going home within the hour. The second sign was when I was called with 22 others directly into the jury box.
The trial was a domestic violence charge, and it was sad how many people were excused because of current or past run ins with such violence. And overall the process was interesting. But it also made me happy that I hadn’t gone down the route of trial lawyer (or lawyer at all)… the hilarity really began when asking the jury some questions pertaining to the case. The main one, the charge of “hands as a deadly weapon”. Now, aside from snickering to myself about some great chuck Norris jokes:
Chuck Norris can win a game of Connect Four in only three moves.
Chuck Norris is currently suing NBC, claiming Law and Order are trademarked names for his left and right legs.
It takes Chuck Norris 20 minutes to watch 60 minutes.
It was clearly a serious situation, and as a potential juror, it seemed the District Attorney and the Defense were doing everything in their power to ensure the Jury (with clearly the intellect of toddlers) could understand that a human can harm another human without a gun. Oh yes, this is where I’m sure the look in my eyes was the reason for my dismissal.
DA: “Ms. Fezler, what do you think is meant by “Deadly Weapon”.
Sarah: “I believe, its really the “intent” – anything can be used to do harm to another person and be a deadly weapon, be it, their hands, a pillow, pretty much anything that’s intended to be used that way.”
DA: “Ahh, so would you say that THIS (he holds up a mug for effect) could be a deadly weapon?”
Sarah: “Um, yes”.
DA: Looking dejected turns to the juror next to Sarah. “Would You Mr. X?”
Mr. X: “Um, Sure”.
DA: What about this? (holding up a piece of red string).
Mr. X “ “Yes.”
DA: “Does it matter that this is from my son’s Magic kit?”
Mr. X” “No, like she said, you can use anything”
Be advised that this continues for the better part of an hour. And I think everyone finally got it (she says tongue in cheek). Yes, we understand that the man is being charged with assault with a deadly weapon, even if the deadly weapon was his hands. Sigh.
Anyway, the real drama came with my catching the flu from the derelict man sitting next to me who was coughing and sneezing the whole time. He finally raised his had when questioned if anyone in the jury was a victim of a crime “yes , ma’am” he says to the Judge. “I was shot and stabbed. (cough, cough).” He was released. Finally as the day wore on, and the jurors names had been passed back and forth between the two lawyers the final twelve were named. And I was not on it!
Although I learned a lot from my day on jury duty, I’m glad I didn’t have to stay through the whole trial. Especially since at about 4pm that day I came down with a fever and the cough, presumable caught from the stabbed and shot man. Jury duty was a fun new experience though, and you’ll find many people have a good story to tell about jury duty (those who have been called forth) – so go ahead, ask around, and I think you’ll find those dramatic television shows depicting our judicial system, aren’t too far off.
this was hysterical. and i loved your response about the deadly weapon, will have to remember that. hope your feeling better. and thanks for doing your civic duty.
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